Boobs…

*I’ll be uploading my Instagram posts from our time in NICU, followed by a more recent picture of Rex, so you’ll be able to see the difference and keep-up with our journey*

9th May 2019

“Well, I guess is my new look for a while. Tired, bemused, and a little (lot) disheveled. I’m currently expressing milk for Rex every three hours, and there are great things about it, and less enjoyable factors

The best thing is that I get to do something beneficial for Rex – his feeds have gone from 1ml to 10ml of the good stuff. So, he’s not just tolerating it now, but he’ll be able to grow and get stronger too♥️

NICU is amazing, as I get to sit next to his incubator and express there. This is always more successful (in terms of amount) because I can see him, and nature is magical at times (savage at other times though). There’s also an expressing room, where tired moms can drink tea, listen to the radio, read, and chat; that can be just as therapeutic for me.

Obviously, I’m pumping out way more than he can consume at the moment. So, it’s all collected in bottles, dated, and frozen in NICU for future feeds – we’ve got a nice stockpile happening 🥛🥛🥛 Although expressing at home means I can do something practical and helpful for him. This is the time I breakdown the most. I get so sad that he’s not in my arms for me to feed him directly. I get a hormone surge, which never helps, and I really miss his lovely little face

I just want to be holding him as I feed him (whether that’s by boob or bottle). It’s one of the strongest, longing feelings I’ve ever had. But, it’ll happen, one day, and it’s what I cling to during these times 🤱🏻.

This picture was post-crying. I’ve forgotten what makeup is, I need a fringe trim, and button/zip-down tops (pjs) are my new wardrobe essentials. Everyone has told me how much of a daily rollercoaster NICU would be, but honestly I find it can change for me by the hour. And, aside from the night expressing, I think that’s what’s most exhausting

Shoutout to my humble boobs though! I’ve never appreciated them before, only moaned about my lack of cleavage. But they’ve really helped me out lately, and I’ll never moan at them again ️ Never has a guy controlled what I do with my body so much. But, you’ve all seen Rex; he’s so worth it all 🥰 x”

Peace, love, and expressing yourself, Fay x