As most of you who follow my social media platforms will already know, I’m pregnant. It was planned, and I could not be happier about it. I’m due in July, and I cannot wait to meet this little human who has wreaked absolute havoc on my body (in the sweetest possible way though, because they are tiny and I love them). I have plenty to write about regarding my first trimester, especially about how it’s affected my type 1, and how my medical care has been different to that of a “normal” pregnancy, whatever that is. However, this is more of a little announcement I guess.
I just don’t have the energy at the moment to gather my thoughts in a very coherent manner, or give you any information that would be useful yet. This is mainly due to quite severe sickness and fatigue, as I do my best to grow a healthy baby, and not completely lose the plot myself. What I will say is that, through all the puking, UTIs, and trips to hospital; I’ve never been happier. I was a little fearful of feeling this joyous, because we’ve lost previous pregnancies, and I’m also aware that nobody can sustain this level of happy forever. However, I’ve told myself to shut the eff up, and enjoy every single second. I’ve worked really hard to get my body to a place where I can safely carry a baby, and I’m proud of that. I’ve wanted to be a mom since I knew what one was, and I’m going to embrace everything that this pregnancy and my baby has in store for me. The good, the bad, and the really cute.
As I stated in my announcement picture, I honestly do understand how triggering other people’s pregnancy journeys can be when you’re grieving what you’ve lost, or longing for what you don’t have just yet. Therefore, I’m just sending those of you who have thrown their phone on the bed, gasped in despair, or had a cry at my news, a huge hug. I’ve been there, it feels awful, because ultimately you’re over the moon for people, eventually. I will be sharing a lot to do with my pregnancy, so I understand if this is no longer a place you want to hang out and read stuff. I’m struggling to write this without sounding condescending, because i realise that everyone sounds that way when you’re going through something so challenging, so all I can send you is love and hope.
I’m 35, I have Graves’ Disease and no thyroid, I’ve been diabetic for 26 years this year, I’ve waited, lost, waited, lost again, and been broken hearted along the way. For me, it’s definitely been a marathon, and I can finally see some sort of finishing line so that I get to be a mom. Jeez, that was cheesy, but I shall now blame everything like that on the multitude of hormones having a rave in my body.
Peace, love, and pregnancy, Fay x